“You see that, child, you see him? Beyond that wired fence lies a lot of uncertainty. The uncertainty you see is not because of not knowing what is going on. The uncertainty on the other side of that fence exists because of realizing what is going on, and what may be going on. He defines the confusion that can haunt someone because they want to think from scratch.”
I turned my head a bit to hear the voice far behind me say that. It was the voice of an old man. I could not see any human around to associate with the voice I was hearing. It was not windy, nor was it hot. There was no wind at all, and the temperature was cool enough to forget about the sun and to think of whether or not I wanted to make the effort to try to cover myself.
“There lies the problem. There lies the rejection of society. There lies the acceptance of something weird. There lies the mix of many different things. There lies the anti-stereotype of anti-stereotypes, and the stereotype of anti-stereotypes. That fence is what bothers him. That fence is what not only confuses him, but also keeps him alive. That fence is what empowers him, and one day, that fence is what will be his biggest target. Even though he is drenched in all his actions and mistakes on that side, he thinks he is doing the thing that has more good reasons for everyone, and not just many people. He simply does not believe in ignoring things anymore. He is starting to think about adapting everything to something different in life. He realizes that each and every weakness he has cannot be let go easily, or at all. Thus he is constantly thinking, and trying.
You see, today he talks about the results of the fence, but slowly, and maybe surely, he is working his way towards the fence itself. He knows it. It is not the things on the other side of the fence that bother him that much. It is the fence itself. He does not want to come to this side. He wants all of us to go to the fence and listen to the reasons as to why the other side exists. That is why he is rarely far from the fence, in the depths of the other side. He keeps thinking of that side, but he wanders close to the fence to keep in touch with everyone on this side. What bothers him is that he himself for unknown reasons is following the rule of the fence by staying on that side. He knows he is creating a lot of enemies, but he also knows that he is creating a lot of people who realize even in the smallest of sense of what he stands for may be better or right, and thus for him, even the smallest of such realizations is good. He used to focus on approval, but now he is starting to focus more on realization from both sides, and that is now also motivating him. He has been seeing more bad than good. He thinks that without thinking about the bad, you can never do any real good.
For some reason, the closer he gets to the fence, the more independent he becomes from the fence. He is starting to distance himself from the fence for longer periods of time than ever before in his life. In his view, he is finally growing up. He is becoming happy. So listen, child, stay away from him. He is an extinct species.”
I looked to the left, with my body pointing parallel to the direction of the fence. The voice was coming from right side, from the other side of the fence. I was on this side of the fence. I could not see anyone pointing at me, but I knew they were talking about this side of the fence.
Picture location: Between San Francisco & Fresno, Northern California, USA.
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Filed under Observations .
Posted on Thu, 15 May 2008 at 1:53 am PST.
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